“While modern capitalism constantly develops new needs in order to increase consumption, people’s dissatisfaction remains the same as ever. Their lives no longer have any meaning beyond a rush to consume, and this consumption is used to justify the increasingly radical frustration of any creative activity or genuine human initiative — to the point that people no longer even see this lack of meaning as important.” - Pierre Canjuers, Socialisme ou Barbarie #27

Monday, 6 June 2016

Brain

This weekend I reduced my dose of Prozac from 60mg to 40mg a day.  I’m being as sensible as I can about this, reviewing my progress (or the opposite) on a monthly basis with my GP, who has a goatee beard and likes to shake hands at the end of appointments.  A nice touch.  After two days on 40mg I feel the same, without any noticeable recurrence in symptoms, though of course it’s far too early for that.  Prozac is a slow acting medication, taking a long time to build up and your system, and just as long to work its way out again.  I have considered keeping a journal to note if and when any obsessions recur - but it occurs to me this could be a way of digging myself into a whole.  Watching out for obsessions, even unconsciously, could very well trigger them.  Try not to think about penguins, and all that.  My hope is that I’ll find a way to function on a lower dose.  I find myself asking if there’s a compromise to be had between the soporific fog of 60mg and the torture that is my mind on 0mg.  It’s a strange question to be asking, and I’ve no idea what the answer is yet.