Sunday 29 July 2018

Bread and Jam and Circuses




I didn't vote in the Brexit referendum because I didn't understand it.  Sorry.  Having seen the political fallout since, I'm inclined to lean towards the "remain" side of the fence but at the time, it seemed to me that neither campaign made a convincing case; subsequently, it seems that many people who didn't abstain really knew what they were voting for.  Who, for instance, and be honest here, has any idea what the "customs union" or "single market" actually is, and how being (or not being) a part of it affects their lives?  What percentage of the voters had read, digested or had even heard of the Treaty of Rome, the Maastrict Treaty, the Lisbon Treaty, or the Single European Act?  Compare that to the numbers of people who evidently thought that voting "leave" would somehow stop brown people from taking jobs from them they weren't qualified for or never wanted to do in the first place.  Or were for some unfathomable reason emotionally attached to the colour of their passport.  And how exactly does any of this relate to what political bureaucracy our government's own bureaucracy is tied up in?  These aren't the sort of questions that governments should be asking the gormless millions.  It doesn't seem like actual governments even know the answers either.

Anyway, if stockpiling food in preparation for "no deal" (whatever that means) is to be the game, I think might already be ahead.  No tinned beans or frozen dinners for me, and nor will this man be living on bread alone, as yesterday I succeeded in making jam for the first time.  As with bread, it's at once easier and more satisfying to make yourself than you would expect.  I used this recipe for blackberry jam from BBC Good Food, requiring only three ingredients; lemon juice, sugar and, obviously, blackberries.  My very first attempt was a success.


Blackberries grow in abundance on and around my allotment and even of the ones that are indisputably public, nobody ever seems to pick them but me.


My only concern, that it might not be possible to "set" the jam without a fridge (I don't own one) was quashed overnight.  I left the jam in the sterilised jar to set overnight, and set it did.  I woke up this morning at dawn to bake the dough I'd prepared last night and along with the usual three cups of coffee, enjoyed the simplest, most delicious homemade breakfast imaginable.  In the event of a no deal Brexit, jars of homemade jam will be available from my website at the very reasonable price of £350,000 a jar.  I love politics.





Related posts

Home Grown Sandwiches
In Praise of Bread
Energy and the Election
£1.00 a Day Eating Challenge


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Saturday 28 July 2018

The Art of Pottering




The word "pottering" is one of those words that, by definition, should admit of no definition.  Still, dictionaries are going to have a go, and you can't blame them for that really (it's their job).  Google gives the definition of the verb "to potter" as to, "occupy yourself in a desultory but pleasant way".  "Desultory" in turn, allegedly means, "lacking a plan, purpose or enthusiasm" - thus, to potter is to occupy oneself purposelessly, but enjoyably.  To enjoy doing something there's no good reason to be doing.

There's something not quite right about this.  I'd like to go out on a limb, first of all, and assert that pottering is something that can only really be done in a garden.  The Cambridge Dictionary acknowledges this possibility, giving the definition of the verb as "to move around without hurrying, and in a relaxed and pleasant way" and as its first example of a use of the word, "I spent the afternoon pottering around the garden doing a few odd jobs" - but then its second example ruins everything: "He doesn't drive very fast - he tends to potter along".  This, I'm afraid, is disgusting.  If there's one context in which a human cannot possibly be said to be pottering, it's while driving a car.  I hope this is something we can all agree on.

The pottering shed.
Maybe the problem is that there isn't a word that captures the essence of pottering in a garden.  At least, not a word I've ever come across (suggestions welcome).  Most assuredly, pottering is what I spent this morning doing on my allotment.  (Disclaimer: I don't have a garden as such, but for all intents and purposes an allotment performs the same function as a garden, at least in so far as I use mine).  There is a word - "flâneur", French in origin of course - which means "stroller", "saunterer" or "loafer"; or (google again) "a man who saunters about observing society".  The term has its own Wikipedia page that's worth a read.  "Pottering" and "potterer" do not.  ("Pottering" searched on Wikipedia redirects to the page for a conservative German politician by the name of Hans-Ger Pöttering, and that's all I have to say about that).  "Flâneur" in any case has more urban, social connotations; "pottering" by contrast is an essentially solitary pursuit, one that suggests a more rustic, rural activity.  One may of course potter about in a shed (a potting shed, after all, where pots are kept, and to which I sense some etymological link) but that shed must, of course, be in a garden.

Additionally, pottering involves not only observing, but interacting.  I present some of the activities I engaged in just this morning, on my allotment, any or all of which can constitute pottering.

1.  Staining the back of the shed.
Dear reader, I feel I've done you disservice in not keeping you up to speed with the progress of my shed.  I acquired it, in pieces, back in February, for £50 and Henry, a neighbouring allotmentier (and, I suspect, fellow potterer) expertly assembled it for me for a further £100 which believe you me, was a pretty good deal considering the state its parts were in.  I've since been staining and painting it, and there was just part of the back side to finish staining until this morning, when I finally got round to finishing this off; and only just, mind you, as in the process of maneuvering between the blackberry brambles and various scrap items hidden behind the shed awaiting another pottering session I spilled the half-empty jar of wood stain.  I managed to lick just enough of it up with the brush to smatter onto the wood itself, leaving only a part of the roof above the door unstained, and for which I hope I can find a sufficiently small jar of waterproof slop to cover this some other time.




Anyway, as you can see, I've also been painting the wood (three colours so far, I'm still undecided on a fourth) to make a enviable rainbow shed, a palace of pottering, if I say so myself.


2.  Decorating with rubbish.
I've spent many an evening this year now sitting outside the shed, staring for hours at the fire and more often than not, accompanied by a bottle or two of beer.  Accumulating bottle caps, it occurred to me they might make a kind of mosaic, filling in gaps between paving stones and around borders, keeping weeds at bay and adding some colour to otherwise uninteresting spots of ground.


Similiarly, I sometimes drink from cans, which leaves me with an accumulation of plastic rings - which can feed between the shed slats and form a makeshift trellis for some vines.




I hasten to add that not every single bottle cap or plastic ring represents a beer I have consumed myself - plastic rings in particular are things you find littered around all over the place.  Bottle caps, too, though less so.  Turn litter into art.  Or garden supplies.  Just don't let it end up in the sea.




3.  Saving seeds

As nasturtium flowers die off, their seeds swell and eventually fall to the soil in preparation for next year.  But as they're so large, they're easy to spot and pick off, usually in clumps of two or three, to save for exactly when and where you want to sow them.  I was impressed by the size of the trailing variety I'd sown at the border of my herb bed; though the dwarf variety are probably better suited for such a spot, so as I grew both, I've been carefully separating the two batches of seeds for use next year.  I think I'll train some trailing nasturitums to grow vertically up the shed, as with the vines; using the dwarves for borders.  

Nasturtium seeds ready for picking
4.  Replenishing the wormery.
I don't know if it's been the hot weather or my lack of attention to the box in the corner of my shed, but the once vibrant colony of worms I homed in there had somehow died.  So I bought myself some more tiger worms, gave the whole mixture a good stir, removing several handfuls from the bottom to scatter around the soil outside, and resolving to do this regularly from now on; feeding and harvesting as a matter of routine.  A colony of worms can be a prolific producer of high quality compost under the right circumstances.

Worms.  Worms, worms, worms.






What it comes down to is this.  Pottering is like an art.  Contrast it with what we could call for this purpose a science: the fixation on becoming "more productive".  (Wretch).  Pottering may be "desultory" but it certainly doesn't have to be.  It's usually, but not exclusively, pleasant (spilling a can of wood stain isn't exactly fun) but is always - always - indifferent to the constraints of time, organisation and (wretch again) productivity.  Pottering knows nothing of "life hacks" as such, though arguably does involve their use.  There's no pottering app.  Pottering isn't something you do on purpose (though it doesn't happen entirely by accident either).  It's more, almost, but not quite, a state of mind.  You can potter while sitting down, staring into the fire, dreaming big, or dreaming of nothing in particular.  You can potter standing up, walking, looking, and being.  It's nothing special, but it's joy.  It's not productive, but its not counterproductive either.  It's just something you might want to try from time to time.




Related posts

Remember You're a Womble
On Ticking Things Off Lists
Sun Day
2018: Year of the Shed
Go to Bed
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Friday 27 July 2018

Cheeky Strawberry Piracy



I'm so naughty.







Related posts

YouTubin' It
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Thursday 26 July 2018

Summer on the Allotment (Part Two)




Let's take a closer look at the herb bed.  I've been harvesting my sage regularly since spring, cutting off a generous handful of sprigs and hanging them to dry.  Once they're as dry as can be, the leaves crumble in your fingers, and there you have it.  I have nearly a jar-full now.



My pineapple sage, which really is a sage that really does smell like pineapple, has taken root.  Rub your fingers against this and smell them, and your fingers will smell of pineapple.  This I can promise you.  Not sure what I can use it in yet, food-wise, but it looks marvellous.

Pineapple sage, 21st July 2018

Now that I've cut back some of the vulgar sage, the thyme I grew from seed has really started to assert itself into the sunshine.

Thyme, 21st July 2018
Basil, also grown from seed, peeping up between the onions and chives.  Onions are things I've just dotted around the "herb" bed this year; next year I need to take a more intensive approach to growing them.

Basil, 21st July 2018
I'm pleased the small rosemary cutting that once was part of my windowsill herb garden (which I have since destroyed, transplanting it little by little into the outdoors) has taken to its new home, too.

Rosemary, 21st July 2018

Inside the shed, I've been gathering my bolted spinach plants and setting them out to dry.

Drying spinach for seed.

As the stems dry and the leaves fall away, little clusters of seed are left and can easily be picked off.  I've been saving mine in the egg boxes Sarah gives me sometimes:





Next year it'd be great to have a spinach-growing schedule that kept me in fresh leaves all through spring and summer.  Less bolting, more eating.

I've now pulled up all the garlic I planted in the autumn, which I also hang to dry in the shed before bringing it home.  Must remember to save enough large cloves to plant again in October for next year.  Managed to grow twelve bulbs, but with the amount of roast potatoes I'm eating at the moment, that's not as large a supply as it might sound.  I smell amazing, and so does my shed.

Garlic bulbs drying in the shed.







Related posts

Summer on the Allotment (Part One)
Summer Harvest, and Beyond

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Monday 23 July 2018

On Ticking Things Off Lists




This morning I finished reading a book.  This meant I could tick "finish reading book" off my list.  There's something very satisfying about ticking things off lists.  Why?

The book I finished reading was "Be More Pirate" by Sam Conniff Allende, a book about rebellion, freedom, branding, capitalism and imagination, as inspired by the actual pirates of yesteryear, whose retrospectively incongruous combinations of progressive ideas (equal pay, workers' rights even a prototypical form of same-sex marriage) and pre-modern barbarity made for the infamous "pirate codes" that challenged the status quo of so many aspects of imperialism and capitalism at its most violent and self-confident.  (A particularly striking example of this incongruity is found in the Articles of Henry Morgan and Other Buccaneers (circa 1670), which offers one of the earliest known forms of compensation for injury in the workplace: "for the lost of an arm, 600 pieces of eight, or six slaves; for a leg 500 pieces of eight, or five slaves; for an eye 100 pieces of eight, or one slave".  Needless to say; compensation good, slavery bad - and Allende takes time to articulate thoughtfully his considerations viz. moral relativism when using such practices as inspiration for any kind of contemporary behaviour.

It's a worthwhile read, I'd say, if you can stomach the somewhat sickly preoccupation with "startups" and the like, but its heart is in the right place and the author evidently has a well-calibrated bullshit detector.  Here's a couple of choice quotes from the final chapters:

"As billions more of the global population enter a consumer mindset of middle-class aspiration, and we accelerate past a planetary point of no return in a system based precariously on debt we can't afford and in a world without resources to sustain us, there's a chance the clue to survival is in how we perceive ourselves and the relationship we have with our planet and one another, and it just so happens that the name consumer may well be the signature on humanity's suicide note."

"You've inherited a system so broken that anything less than a radical alternative is suicidal; we're trying to grow in an economy and ecosystem that can barely support the size we are; we're run by an Establishment willing to sell out the biosphere to improve a budget line; and above it all we accept a global 'wisdom' that dictates this way is the only way to keep living.  The future holds an almost guaranteed major cataclysmic event in your lifetime, where the only certain truth will be that no one is coming to save you".





Obviously.  Anyway that isn't what I wanted to write about today, which makes the first of a full two weeks of one life's proletarian luxuries, annual leave.  Since making the decision always to value time more highly than money, I've found I'm developing a hyper-sensitivity the feeling of time passing without me actually getting things done.  Will I ever actually sit down once and for all to properly research and write my book?  Will I satisfactorily ever be able to pair my possessions down to the bare minimum, to the the point where I can live the streamlined, self-actualised existence of my fantasies?  Will I be able to convert my allotment into an efficient, high-yielding food forest-farm that provides for all my nutritional needs, year round?  Will I find a way to ask myself less pretentious questions?

I don't know the answers to any of these questions.  I'd like to press a button and instantly have everything I want.  On the other hand, that's exactly the opposite of what I want.

One of the things on my list today was "laundry".  So I did my laundry, and ticked that off.  I've also set a recurring item, "drink two bottles" of water, repeating daily, just to remind me to drink more water, because drinking more water is good, whatever the weather.  On Friday, my first actual day off (but it would have been anyway) I made myself an "ultimate list", where I scribbled down absolutely everything I could think of that I wanted to get done, no matter how minor, from finishing painting my shed, to fashioning a homemade siphon for transferring otherwise plug-holed bathwater into the toilet; from replenishing my wormery to clearing out my email inboxes; from cutting my hair, to digitising my stack of teenage notebooks, to scheduling a series of posts for this very blog.  Anything that came to mind, went on the list.  In essence:





It feels like the right thing to do.  And there is, there really is, something very satisfying about ticking things off a to-do list, no matter how minor and unimportant they may seem.  I don't know why this is, I just thought I'd mention it.  It feels like things are coming into focus.  Equally, I might be going insane.





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Related posts

A Case of the Mondays
Thoughts from a non empty room
A Mistake to Learn From
Twenty Milligrams
Fucking Big Wisdom
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Sunday 22 July 2018

David Graeber quote




This isn't normally something I'd draw attention to here but I just made myself a little meme that turned out rather nicely, so I decided to share.  From the excellent Bullshit Jobs, by David Graeber.


More of this sort of thing on my anti-work page.

What have I become?


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Saturday 21 July 2018

Summer on the Allotment (Part One)




July's heatwave seems to have passed and after a week of more variable weather, it's time to rest my watering can arm and take stock of the edible plant I've been growing.

The speed at which some plants can grow never ceases to impress me.  My corn, for instance, grew from seed to almost as tall as me in the space of just three months.

The same sweetcorn, 20th July
Sweetcorn seedlings, 12th May 2018

12th June
Actual cobs are forming on the plants, too.  I actually didn't realise that more than one cob can grow on a corn plant.  I love this.  I'm going to grow much more corn next year.

In early June, one of the four squash seeds I sowed in April came into its own...


...then flowered...


...got pregnant...


...and asserted its right to exist.


Here's the largest baby so far, pictured just this morning, about the size of a plum:


Squash are marvellous.  Have you ever kept one in a cupboard?  You can keep it for weeks, even months, and it's still perfectly fine to eat.  Thick skinned.  Another thing to grow more of next year.

Let's talk about borage, which rhymes with "porridge", I don't care what anyone says.  A lesser known herb, whose seeds I sowed out of curiosity, bolted and blossomed from this, in May:


to four-foot stems covered in striking blue bee magnets and enormous leaves I'd loath to classify as herbs, they were so enormous


I did try eating the flowers, but I wasn't keen.  They're nicer to look at and anything that attracts bees, is, by definition, good.  Speaking of which....


Continued in Part Two, in which I take a closer look at the herb bed, and step inside the shed.





Related posts

Spring on the Allotment
A Shed is Born
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